no more. for the love of god.
The sidebar is still huddled in the corner, softly weeping, from the sheer idiocy that it dealt with at the store today. It'll be back next time.

So, I head down to Road Rider this afternoon. They've got a decent selection of helmets, so I try a bunch on. My conclusions:

• Shoei RF-900 (XS) - Fits pretty well, but I get the feeling that it, too, will start loosening up with time.
• Shoei TZ-1 (XS) - Too big.
• Arai Signet (XS) - Fits OK, but smooshes my cheeks up like a dorky little chipmunk. I wouldn't really be happy wearing it.
• Arai Quantum (XS) - Too big.
• Arai Quantun (XXS) - Fits the best out of all of them, but has the same chipmunk cheek problem as the Signet.

Unfortunately, they didn't have an XXS in either the RF-900 or the TZ-1. They ordered an XXS in the TZ-1 for me, so I'll go back in and try that one on later, I guess. Truth be told, I'm not too thrilled with Road Rider right now, though, so I might just give up and go to Cycle Gear (also in San Jose) instead. In the meantime, though, I must accept that I have a mutant head. I have the sinking feeling that I really fit into a Shoei X-and-a-half-S; I vaguely remember trying on an XXS in the RF-900 and having it be way too small. I guess no one exists in the motorcycle helmet universe whose head size is between a small child's and a teenage boy's.

the sitcom that is road rider.
So, I'm not sure if Road Rider's general attitude has really changed over the past couple of years, or if my wants/needs out of a motorcycle store have changed. Today's experience, though, was really impressive.

First off, I'd driven there, since I was going to do other errands afterwards. So, it's true that I was wearing street clothes. And that the street clothes happened to be a tight shirt and cutoff cargo pants. So I walk through the usual throng of bikers loitering outside, and head in towards the helmet section, which is directly in front of the cash registers. As soon as I walk into their line of sight, the teenage-looking boys behind the counter start making comments. Audible comments. Comments like, "hey, lookit that! Hey, call Erik up to the front counter!" over store intercom: hey Erik, come up to the front counter! Erik comes up to the front counter. "What?" "Look!" "Huh? -- oh!" "Huhhhuhh, go ask her if she needs any help, maybe you'll, huh, get something out of her!" This went on for a little while.

Now, this didn't really bother me in the slightest -- or, at least, it wouldn't have, had one of them actually come over to help me. As it were, I wandered around the helmet section, which consists mainly of towering piles of boxes, for a good 20 minutes before an asshole employee walked by near enough to me that I could corner him into helping me. The "help" went something like:

Me: Hi, I'm looking for a new helmet to replace my Shoei RF-800, but I'm not really sure what size or type will fit me best.
Asshole: Uh-huh.
long pause.
Asshole: These are our discontinued Shoeis. he points to a small stack of boxes and walks away.

...some time later, I corner him again....

Me: Hi, um, do you have any Arais to try on?
long pause.
Me: It could be that I'm just blind, but I don't see any.
Asshole: looks up at the wall. They're up there on the wall.
Me: OK, yes, I see that, but I can't try them on from the wall. Are there any to try on?
Asshole: They're back in the back room.
Me: OK, can I try some on?
Asshole: What style and size?
Me: I don't know -- that's why I want to try them on.
Asshole: You don't know?
Me: I don't know. I've never tried on an Arai before.
Asshole: You're never tried on an Arai before?

This went on for a few minutes, until I managed to convince him to go get me the damned Arais, already. He continued the excellent customer service by dropping the boxes in front of me, pulling out the helmet, handing it to me, and walking away.

overheard while waiting for asshole to return with the helmets:
As I was loitering, a pair of women walked past me, wearing big long frizzy hair, too much blue eyeshadow, and black leather fringed vests. As they passed, one said to the other, "See, the mens' clothes are so much more padded because they're the ones driving."

There's so much wrong with that entire situation that we won't even go there. We'll just stare in horror and relief as it goes on past us.

but wait! there's more!
Apparently the reason that Asshole couldn't be bothered to help me was that he was busy helping Squidly and his good buddy Dummy. Squidly was about 6 feet tall, weighed maybe 300 pounds, and just looked stupid in that football-player way (no offense to any football players in the audience). Their conversation went like:

Squidly: Heya, I'm needin' anudder helmet, where kin I order anudder helmet?
Asshole gives Squidly a strange look
Squidly: Yeah, I wuz in here last week. I boughta helmet.
long pause.
Asshole: And now you need to order a helmet.
Squidly: Yup, crashed.
Asshole goes off wordlessly to get the helmet catalogue.
Squidly: apparently talking out loud to no one Yeah, I crashed muh gixxer, jist got it, too.
Asshole comes back with catalogue, and gives it to squidly
Dummy: Heya, um, how much do these cost? gestures to face shields
Asshole: $30 (or whatever)
Dummy: Oh, cuz, it broke [Note: out of self-preservation, I wasn't paying too much attention at this point, and neglected to hear whether it was Squidly or Dummy's face shield which committed suicide.]
Asshole: That's too bad.
Dummy: Well, I want a new one.
Asshole: They're right there.
Dummy: No, I mean, it broke. So I shouldn't have to buy a new one. Aren't they under warranty?
Asshole: Maybe, by Shoei -- not by us.
Dummy: Well, how do I get a free one?
Asshole: Bring in the broken part, and we'll ask our Shoei rep; he's here Thursdays.
Dummy: I don't have it.
Asshole: You don't have it.
Dummy: I don't have it!
Squidly: It's on da freeway! You think I shoulda gone back an' gotten it??
Asshole: If you wanted a warranty replacement, yes! It just broke? On the freeway?
Squidly: Yup! It broke right here! walks over to where I'm standing, wearing a helmet, grabs my head, and points to some random part on the shield
Asshole: It broke there? also points at my head
Dummy: It broke there! On the freeway!
Squidly: On the freeway!
Asshole: On the freeway.

At this point, I was starting to feel as though I was in some sort of fucked up Greek Chorus audition, so I left the helmet section and wandered into the apparel section, where I heard "Oh, it doesn't really matter; my leathers don't really fit that well, and when I crashed at 170 on the track, I wasn't really hurt that badly, so, yeah, fit doesn't really matter", at which point I gave up on the apparel section and just stared at chain lube for about 15 minutes.

I did end up buying some chain lube. And, in all fairness, I did end up looking at some boots, and the woman in the boot section was polite, helpful, cheerful, and very informative. She asked what sort of riding I did, whether I rode in the rain, etc., made some very helpful suggestions, and got the correct size for me. I didn't end up buying the boots, because I'd want to try them on with my riding pants first, but if I'm going to bitch about Road Rider, I should mention their (admittedly few) strong points, too.

I still think I'll go somewhere else for the next round of helmet shopping.